At 7:00 tonight I will attend my monthly writer’s group. Tonight the group will critique a portion of my YA novel in progress. As always, I dread it while being wholly committed to showing up. Despite my pervasive bad attitude, I remain grateful that a small group of fellow writers will take the time to skewer me (or not). These sincere readers will devote a good chunk of their evening to my manuscript, even though all are busy Los Angelinos with their own projects. I always have a good time so why is it such an internal battle to face the music?
The core source of my dread is also the most interesting aspect of the group: my story and characters will be critiqued. This will the first and most innocuous occasion (of many, I hope) when I will buck up and smile, nod, scribble notes and in general feign fascination with every niggling criticism of my WIP. Perhaps the reason my stomach titters is that critique groups are always a brush with the unknown. Will they gush over it and tell me not to change a word, just ‘keep writing’? Will they tell me they liked that other idea from a few weeks ago much better? Will my readers understand why this idea — amidst several other book ideas they have critiqued recently — inspired me to take the leap and start the years-long journey of writing a novel for potential publication? I do not know what they will think. Therein lies the terrific value, and attendant stress, of being critiqued.
The process of writing is magical. I already think of my girl protagonist often and wonder what she would think and do in a given situation. But I am still getting to know her. I want her to be vulnerable and raw, so that the reader keeps reading to see if she will combust or get plowed under. But I don’t think I’m there yet with her voice. She is too matter-of-fact still. I know that I will be able to work on that, adding depth to her voice as I gain understanding of her backstory and her present conflicts. Yes, as you can see, I am not without my own inner critique – if I didn’t have a good sense of what is working and what is not I’d be a weak writer. The reason why I’ve shown up for a writers’ group for years is so because others point out things I don’t see about my WIP. This is a terrifically important step in the process of crafting a superior book. A novel polished enough to blow someone’s mind out there.
There are scores of gatekeepers whose main job is to say no to us. What we do with our writers groups and critiques and work shops and support groups and classes and voracious reading and Facebook-ing and tweeting is to build something that can weather the tough editorial process. I hope this doesn’t sound bitter, because I’m not. I am simply a pragmatist whose sole aim is to turn out the best material I can muster.
I already know I am going to write this book. So tonight, I am going to quietly show up, with a sharpened pencil and a receptive heart. I will thank my fellow writers, for reading my pages and taking the time to share reactions to my work. I may be tweaked and even pained by your comments, or I may be flattered and greatly heartened. It doesn’t really matter which. It’s all just one more day in a chain of days as I undertake the job of being a writer – a job I feel thrilled and blessed to pursue.
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